Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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