I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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