so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
last night I used snow as a chaser
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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