I met the friendliest cop last night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
