I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Actions speak louder than pants.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
