i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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