I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
