Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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