Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
