He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
