I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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