I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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