you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
