At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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