I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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