Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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