ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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