am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
