This girl is more easily done than said...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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