I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
