It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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