Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
