Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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