I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
