I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
