nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
