just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
