I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
