you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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