what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
