whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
