Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
