She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
