i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize