a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
