i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
