took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize