His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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