In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize