when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
