"it" just moved
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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