I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
