just survived the first fart of the relationship.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
