and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
