it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
