she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
