I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
