i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
