Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
