He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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