on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
