Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
