I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
