whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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