i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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