I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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