So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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