You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
