dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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