I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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