ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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