Kiss
Puke
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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