Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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