it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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