I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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