I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
