this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
