I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
