I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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