So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
