I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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