Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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