please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
