That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
