Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
